So I was thinking to myself, "Steve"...that's what I call myself..."Steve, you haven't updated your blog in a few days. You really need to." And so here I am, updating my blog.
Not a whole lot's been going on. As the end of the year approaches I'm begining to stress about the projects I don't have done yet but other than that I'm doing ok. Still no job lined up for the summer yet. Still not 100% sure where I'm gonna be going to school next year. Still wondering what in the world's gonna happen after May 13th. Please pray that I can be sensitive to God's leadings in these next couple of weeks. Thanks.
On the side of things that I am sure of, I beat FF9 yesterday. I went through the entire 4th disk in a matter of hours and in the course of an afternoon. It was a good game. For those RPG fans out there, I would give it an 7.6 out of 10. Not the absolute best I've ever (Final Fantasy 7 was my first RPG and I believe will always be my love) but it was still very good. Didn't really do a whole lot of sidequests/games though so it might even deserve a bit higher than that.
I don't think I really have much more to say than that right about now and I'm getting tired so I'm heading out to go to bed. God bless.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
2 Corinthians 7:10
2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets, but worldly sorry brings death.
I was doing my evening scripture reading the other night and came across this passage and just had to write it down. Put into clique form, this passage says to learn from your mistakes. This passage rings especially true to me at this point in my life because I have had sorry in my life fairly recently that has led to repentence. It's cool because I am able to actually see this passage at work in my life right now.
Other than that scripture, I have a little bit of other stuff that I think I'm gonna talk about tonight. Those of you who know me likely know that I am going to transfer schools next year. Until just a few days ago, I was 95% sure I was going to go to Calvin College. However, due to some reason that I'm not quite sure of, I haven't been feeling all that confident about it. Added to the fact that they didn't give me as much money as I had hoped and the fact that my sister now knows for sure where she's going to school, I have started to seriously consider the University of Indianapolis as my school of choice for next year. It would be quite nice because 1) they will give me a decent amount of money, 2) I'd actually know some people there, 3) it'd be instate, and 4) other reasons that I'm not sure of. We'll see what transpires, but I thought I'd give people the heads up.
OK, I think I'm done posting for the evening. Get to go back and finish some homework before I go to bed. I hate school. God bless.
P.S. If you're a newcomer to my blog and are curious what this phenomina could be that brought about this sorrow, just read back a little ways and it should become pretty obvious pretty quickly.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets, but worldly sorry brings death.
I was doing my evening scripture reading the other night and came across this passage and just had to write it down. Put into clique form, this passage says to learn from your mistakes. This passage rings especially true to me at this point in my life because I have had sorry in my life fairly recently that has led to repentence. It's cool because I am able to actually see this passage at work in my life right now.
Other than that scripture, I have a little bit of other stuff that I think I'm gonna talk about tonight. Those of you who know me likely know that I am going to transfer schools next year. Until just a few days ago, I was 95% sure I was going to go to Calvin College. However, due to some reason that I'm not quite sure of, I haven't been feeling all that confident about it. Added to the fact that they didn't give me as much money as I had hoped and the fact that my sister now knows for sure where she's going to school, I have started to seriously consider the University of Indianapolis as my school of choice for next year. It would be quite nice because 1) they will give me a decent amount of money, 2) I'd actually know some people there, 3) it'd be instate, and 4) other reasons that I'm not sure of. We'll see what transpires, but I thought I'd give people the heads up.
OK, I think I'm done posting for the evening. Get to go back and finish some homework before I go to bed. I hate school. God bless.
P.S. If you're a newcomer to my blog and are curious what this phenomina could be that brought about this sorrow, just read back a little ways and it should become pretty obvious pretty quickly.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Back to Linux
I'm finally back to Linux and it makes me happy. It is such a joy to have the Microsoft giant off my back and Linux Penguin in it's place. Even though it can't fly, it still weighs a lot less than a giant--and it never wants to eat me whole or crush me. Although I know Suse isn't the absolue best distribution, it works, and right now that's all I'm looking for in my Linux flavor.
In other news, I have a lot of school work but need to go to bed right about now. Thanks for playing Read Peter's Blog and I'll see you next time! God bless.
In other news, I have a lot of school work but need to go to bed right about now. Thanks for playing Read Peter's Blog and I'll see you next time! God bless.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Slowing down
Yes, I admit that my blog has been slowing down quite a bit as of late. This is because my life has been getting into a more or less set pattern. I'm not having a ton of emotional swings right now or anything so I just don't feel the need to post as often.
On that note, let me actually try to give a brief run down of what's been happening the past few days. In a few words, not much. I went through the entire first series of Kenshin between Thursday and Sunday and then watched Samurai X (prequel to Kenshin) today. That's been a lot of it. Sorta haven't been doing much homework like I should, but oh well. Also, I played some of my RPG with Brien, Cameron and Will the last couple of days. That was quite fun as well.
I think that's a lot of the significant insignificance that's been happening to me as of late. I'm signing off. God bless.
On that note, let me actually try to give a brief run down of what's been happening the past few days. In a few words, not much. I went through the entire first series of Kenshin between Thursday and Sunday and then watched Samurai X (prequel to Kenshin) today. That's been a lot of it. Sorta haven't been doing much homework like I should, but oh well. Also, I played some of my RPG with Brien, Cameron and Will the last couple of days. That was quite fun as well.
I think that's a lot of the significant insignificance that's been happening to me as of late. I'm signing off. God bless.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Shameless plug
It's time for me yet again to put in my shameless plug for a free iPod. I would really love one of these things but without the help of others it's never gonna happen. I know most of you probably think this is some sort of scam but from absolutely everything I have read and seen on this I have seen nothing but people saying it's true. I even have a floor mate here at school whos brother was actually able to get one. OK, the shameless plug has now been concluded. Enjoy your day :-D.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Wow, a week without posting
This is kinda new for me. I realize I haven't been posting a lot as of late but I went an entire week without a new post. Well, it's time for me to give you the rundown on some highlights of my week.
Perhaps the biggest thing that happened this week is that I went bowling with my floor Tuesday. It was $1 shoes, $1 games and I didn't have to pay for the shoes or the first game so it was absolutely amazing. I ended up bowling 3 games. Broke 100 on the second and I learned how to curve the ball on the 3rd. I enjoyed myself quite a lot.
Other than that, there hasn't been a whole lot going on other than school. My floor's been going on a video game fast so that's been interesting. Even with that I've still managed to put off my homework and even get behind. I still have no clue what I'm doing this summer so I'm kinda stressed about that and then that projects are coming up soon in school.
OK, I'm tired and so I'm gonna go to bed. I'll end with a question though. Isn't it sad that the times we need God the most are those times when we don't want Him? Maybe this feeling is only true for me, but I doubt it.
Perhaps the biggest thing that happened this week is that I went bowling with my floor Tuesday. It was $1 shoes, $1 games and I didn't have to pay for the shoes or the first game so it was absolutely amazing. I ended up bowling 3 games. Broke 100 on the second and I learned how to curve the ball on the 3rd. I enjoyed myself quite a lot.
Other than that, there hasn't been a whole lot going on other than school. My floor's been going on a video game fast so that's been interesting. Even with that I've still managed to put off my homework and even get behind. I still have no clue what I'm doing this summer so I'm kinda stressed about that and then that projects are coming up soon in school.
OK, I'm tired and so I'm gonna go to bed. I'll end with a question though. Isn't it sad that the times we need God the most are those times when we don't want Him? Maybe this feeling is only true for me, but I doubt it.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Haven't posted in a few days...
Well, I know I haven't posted in a few days so here's my make up post just to fill people in on what's up and what all has been going down. (I meant to post the other night but for some reason blogger.com wouldn't let me. Do you people who use Xanga ever run into issues like that?)
I went to the Ohio sector Physics converntion Friday and Saturday. It was quite a lot of fun and even arguably more enjoyable than the Spring Break trip to the national American Chemical Society (ACS) convention because it was smaller and much more personal. Then I got back earlier this evening, played a lot of video games, and went to Steak and Shake with some friends. All in all, I would say that it's been a pretty good weekend thus far.
I think I'm gonna be checking out the Orthodox church tomorrow. I've been telling myself for a while that I want to go and check it out and I think I'm finally gonna get off my lazy butt and do it. Westwinds is a good church, but I think that I'm gonna try and see if I can get something a bit more out of church than what Westwinds really offers.
I don't have anything all that profound to say tonight so I think I'll call it quites right about here. May you accept God's blessings as you move througout your life. Peace be with you.
I went to the Ohio sector Physics converntion Friday and Saturday. It was quite a lot of fun and even arguably more enjoyable than the Spring Break trip to the national American Chemical Society (ACS) convention because it was smaller and much more personal. Then I got back earlier this evening, played a lot of video games, and went to Steak and Shake with some friends. All in all, I would say that it's been a pretty good weekend thus far.
I think I'm gonna be checking out the Orthodox church tomorrow. I've been telling myself for a while that I want to go and check it out and I think I'm finally gonna get off my lazy butt and do it. Westwinds is a good church, but I think that I'm gonna try and see if I can get something a bit more out of church than what Westwinds really offers.
I don't have anything all that profound to say tonight so I think I'll call it quites right about here. May you accept God's blessings as you move througout your life. Peace be with you.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Life confuses me. All you who have been reading my blog with any regularity and have known me for a time probably know that my life right now is not very regular. Today is no different. I really wish that I could just live someone elses life or put my life on autorun while I take a vacation or something while everything in my life works itself out. I am still extremely confused and still extremely frusterated.
I am really fed up with the idea of romantic love. I know I kinda vented about this before, but I'm going to again. For all you people who romantic love has worked for, good for you. I really am happy for you. However, for me, I am just fed up with the problems that occur when romantic love goes bad and would perfer never to even take the chance again. The possablilty of having the whole more than friends thing work just does not seem worth the risk to me of ruining a just fine as friends relationship. If this means that I never get married, so be it. Singleness is not a curse! Singleness is as much of a blessing as marraige. I do not need someone of the opposite sex in my life to make me complete, I need God. I believe this goes for every person as well. For those of you who are in love, great. However, you should not be in a dependency relationship where you need the other person to make you complete. If that is your reason for being in a relationship then I believe that you will ultimely be disappointed. The person that you think you love is not perfect. They will fail you at one time or another, have no doubt of that. They will do something to degrade you instead of lift you up. There will be times that you do not feel complete with them. If you are depending on them for this feeling, you will be crushed when it is not there. Do not go into a relationship looking for perfection. Do not go into a relationship looking to be completed. If you must go into a romantic relationship, go with the intent of bettering not only yourself as well as the other person--not with the intent of completing yourself.
As long as I'm ranting about love, I might as well through in something else about it. It's not quite on the same aspect but this is my blog and I make the rules and if you don't like them then stop reading this. I think that there is a reason that there is only one word in the English language for love. I think that we do not truly understand love. I love math; I love my mom; I love my girlfriend (hypethetically); I love God. These all use the same word and yet the meanings are so drastically different. Why is this? I believe it is because we really don't know the difference all that well. Eskimos have over 100 different words for snow. Why? It's what they know. The Greeks had at least 4 different words for love. Why? They understood that there is more than one kind of it. I think it really says something when we only have one word for something like love. When I am told that I am loved by someone (especially a girl), how am I supposed to take that? Does she mean that she loves me the way I love my good friends, does she mean that she is infatuiated with me (aka romantic love), or does she mean that she truly loves me? I doubt she would even know unless she really took time to think about it. This frusterates me. We have a culture that uses love so loosely and I doubt that half the time we even know what we mean. This is extremely upsetting to me.
OK, I'm going to leave that last rant inconclusive. I have proposed a problem, but no solution. Why? Because I have absolutely no clue what to do about it and I just would rather complain then try to change anything. Why? because I'm tired. I'm tired of working at things. I'm tired of trying to do this or that and have no fruit from it. I'm tired and I just want to quit. I need a vacation from my life because right now I really just don't care.
Well, I've ranted enough. Once again, if this confuses, offends, or otherwise frusterates anyone reading it remember that you are not being forced to read it. If you are more comfortable knowing the Peter that you see around campus or run into every now and then else where or if you don't know or want to know me at all, fine. This is me. I make no excuses for who I am or what I think because it is me. You don't like it, leave.
I know it probably doesn't sound all that sincere afte that last paragraph, but God bless you guys. Thank you to those who really do care about my life. It really does mean a lot to me to know that people care enough to suffer through the reading of the crap I put in here to know me more.
I am really fed up with the idea of romantic love. I know I kinda vented about this before, but I'm going to again. For all you people who romantic love has worked for, good for you. I really am happy for you. However, for me, I am just fed up with the problems that occur when romantic love goes bad and would perfer never to even take the chance again. The possablilty of having the whole more than friends thing work just does not seem worth the risk to me of ruining a just fine as friends relationship. If this means that I never get married, so be it. Singleness is not a curse! Singleness is as much of a blessing as marraige. I do not need someone of the opposite sex in my life to make me complete, I need God. I believe this goes for every person as well. For those of you who are in love, great. However, you should not be in a dependency relationship where you need the other person to make you complete. If that is your reason for being in a relationship then I believe that you will ultimely be disappointed. The person that you think you love is not perfect. They will fail you at one time or another, have no doubt of that. They will do something to degrade you instead of lift you up. There will be times that you do not feel complete with them. If you are depending on them for this feeling, you will be crushed when it is not there. Do not go into a relationship looking for perfection. Do not go into a relationship looking to be completed. If you must go into a romantic relationship, go with the intent of bettering not only yourself as well as the other person--not with the intent of completing yourself.
As long as I'm ranting about love, I might as well through in something else about it. It's not quite on the same aspect but this is my blog and I make the rules and if you don't like them then stop reading this. I think that there is a reason that there is only one word in the English language for love. I think that we do not truly understand love. I love math; I love my mom; I love my girlfriend (hypethetically); I love God. These all use the same word and yet the meanings are so drastically different. Why is this? I believe it is because we really don't know the difference all that well. Eskimos have over 100 different words for snow. Why? It's what they know. The Greeks had at least 4 different words for love. Why? They understood that there is more than one kind of it. I think it really says something when we only have one word for something like love. When I am told that I am loved by someone (especially a girl), how am I supposed to take that? Does she mean that she loves me the way I love my good friends, does she mean that she is infatuiated with me (aka romantic love), or does she mean that she truly loves me? I doubt she would even know unless she really took time to think about it. This frusterates me. We have a culture that uses love so loosely and I doubt that half the time we even know what we mean. This is extremely upsetting to me.
OK, I'm going to leave that last rant inconclusive. I have proposed a problem, but no solution. Why? Because I have absolutely no clue what to do about it and I just would rather complain then try to change anything. Why? because I'm tired. I'm tired of working at things. I'm tired of trying to do this or that and have no fruit from it. I'm tired and I just want to quit. I need a vacation from my life because right now I really just don't care.
Well, I've ranted enough. Once again, if this confuses, offends, or otherwise frusterates anyone reading it remember that you are not being forced to read it. If you are more comfortable knowing the Peter that you see around campus or run into every now and then else where or if you don't know or want to know me at all, fine. This is me. I make no excuses for who I am or what I think because it is me. You don't like it, leave.
I know it probably doesn't sound all that sincere afte that last paragraph, but God bless you guys. Thank you to those who really do care about my life. It really does mean a lot to me to know that people care enough to suffer through the reading of the crap I put in here to know me more.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Weather
I thought I'd just take a moment and comment on the amazing weather that God has sent to the Spring Arbor area. 70's is such a beautiful tempeture range (min 20's for you metric people). What is also fun is actually being active. Ultimate Frisbee and Tennis have been my activities as of late while I have been negelecting homework and it has really been quite fun. I really want school to be out so I don't have to worry about homework or other problems that come with school, but then I really don't because I'm gonna have to leave all my friends and I won't have anyone really to hang out with. It's quite the double edged sword.
While I'm not outside enjoying the weather, I'm inside on my computer or a game station (you didn't really think I would be doing homework, did you?). While I was off in that wonderful land we all know as the internet, I came across a picture that I feel is just to good not to share with you. This was taken off http://www.worth1000.com so you all now know where to go to get more awesome pictures like this :-D
While I'm not outside enjoying the weather, I'm inside on my computer or a game station (you didn't really think I would be doing homework, did you?). While I was off in that wonderful land we all know as the internet, I came across a picture that I feel is just to good not to share with you. This was taken off http://www.worth1000.com so you all now know where to go to get more awesome pictures like this :-D
If for some reason the picture doesn't pop up and you are still interested you can see it here cause I'm just to lazy to fix it and that's that.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Back from the dead
After a few days of not posting at all I am now posting twice in less than 12 hours! I am back from the grave of non-existant posts, or something like that...
Anyways, this is really not meant to be a funny post. Sorry for misleading you. I'm posting to once again ask for your prayer. I am really tempted to become very jaded right now and become a person I know I should not be. Please, pray that God would open my heart to let Him in because right now I really feel like just saying to hell with everything. Yeah, that's really a good way to put it. I'm tempted right now to fall into a state where I don't care about anything/anyone other than myself and live only for my own temperal happiness or whatever I happen to feel at the time. Please pray. I need to want to be the man that God wants me to be and right now I don't.
Anyways, this is really not meant to be a funny post. Sorry for misleading you. I'm posting to once again ask for your prayer. I am really tempted to become very jaded right now and become a person I know I should not be. Please, pray that God would open my heart to let Him in because right now I really feel like just saying to hell with everything. Yeah, that's really a good way to put it. I'm tempted right now to fall into a state where I don't care about anything/anyone other than myself and live only for my own temperal happiness or whatever I happen to feel at the time. Please pray. I need to want to be the man that God wants me to be and right now I don't.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Friday, April 01, 2005
Lies
Disclaimer: I am emotional right now. I don't know how much this emotion is effecting my judgement so my feelings may or may not be the same by the end of the day and probably won't be the same by the end of next week.
I figured out why I am so frusterated with Karen right now instead of merely being sad and somewhat depressed like when we first broke up. I will not go into details because this effects more than me and I do not have the other person's permission to give the details. The general idea of my frustration though is that I feel that 90% of the interations that Karen and I have had since our breakup has been lies and the last set of them really make me upset. I really can handle the truth, but when you lie to me I lose the trust and confidence that I once had in you and without that trust I don't see how I can have a friendship. I have lost my trust in Karen. That is why being her friend again is going to be so hard because I don't have the trust in her that I once did. To the best of my ability I tried to be honest with Karen even after our break up. I feel that I have not gotten that in return and that really upsets me. Karen and I may be able to be friends again, but I doubt that it will ever be close friends because I'm just not sure I trust her enough anymore to let her be that much a part of my life.
I figured out why I am so frusterated with Karen right now instead of merely being sad and somewhat depressed like when we first broke up. I will not go into details because this effects more than me and I do not have the other person's permission to give the details. The general idea of my frustration though is that I feel that 90% of the interations that Karen and I have had since our breakup has been lies and the last set of them really make me upset. I really can handle the truth, but when you lie to me I lose the trust and confidence that I once had in you and without that trust I don't see how I can have a friendship. I have lost my trust in Karen. That is why being her friend again is going to be so hard because I don't have the trust in her that I once did. To the best of my ability I tried to be honest with Karen even after our break up. I feel that I have not gotten that in return and that really upsets me. Karen and I may be able to be friends again, but I doubt that it will ever be close friends because I'm just not sure I trust her enough anymore to let her be that much a part of my life.
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